So perhaps you need to discuss with him if these feelings are real or if this is just one big mind f*** because of the rush you’re both getting by keeping it a secret from her.
If it is a rush and the secrecy is what’s keeping it going, your feelings might get hurt, but it may be able to spare her feelings and keep the friendship intact. Or the two of you can become even closer, but keep in mind that you need to set boundaries. you know, “Oh last night we totally messed around in a movie.” She’s NOT going to want to hear what you and him are up to. And definitely start slow with the displays of affection in front of her.
Navigating through this new relationship and trying to be respectful to my friend was a little tricky.
Luckily she was on board and was really happy we were together.
Though I was pretty acquainted with the fam, I felt a little awkward around her brother since we rarely spoke.
There were a lot of hurt feelings and feelings of betrayal on both sides.
On the other hand should it be that he is sincere, really does want to get serious, and likes the idea of openly discussing it with his sister, it might make things even better. NO SIBLINGS EVER WANT TO HEAR DETAILS OF THEIR BRO/SIS’S LOVE LIFE. You won’t be able to talk about where your relationship is going or share those stupid girly details we are all guilty of. It can come as a total shock and make her close up real fast if she’s not broken in. Find a good time, like over dinner, or coffee, or whatever it is you kids do these days.
Just take it slow, and come up with a strategy/game plan on how to tell her yourself. Make sure you have her full undivided attention, and be very straight forward about how you feel.
When I heard her father was the acclaimed novelist Richard Yates, I begged for details. To my surprise and fascination, Monica trashed my penchant for all-black clothes, lefty politics, and suffering poets, rebelling against the poor artistic types she grew up with.Be prepared for hurt feelings, and the possibility that she may no longer want to be close friends. And sometimes these situations they are worth the risk.Just follow the advice of having the talk with the brother first, and then see how it goes from there. Monica was a 26-year-old Wasp quitting her job as a New Yorker assistant to work on a novel.I was a 22-year-old Midwesterner escaping Jewish-princess-hood, enthralled to inherit her ,000-a-year magazine gig. When I ogled a sexy staffer, she said, "Already tried him; he's a loser." Reading my essay on culture shock, she said, "Kind of trite.